Tall jagged cliff faces stare down at me on either side of the valley as I walk through the undergrowth of the forest. Little crackles and crunches come from under my feet as sticks, leaves, grubs and bugs succumb to my foots' imprint on the lightly trodden track laid out before me. In the distance I can see a waterfall crashing over the cliffs down into the base of the river sending little droplets of fresh spring water into the air. Little rainbows form around the waterfalls liquid joint to the river as the sun slowly sinks below the cliffs peak, sending the valley into an almost eclipse like state as the sun struggles to spread its warm glow against the large shadows engulfing the valley.
*****
A small brick cottage pops into view up ahead of me. With the light drained from the valley, it was easy to see that familiar warm glow of home. The chimney chuffed out a steady stream of black soot and smoke, but with no electricity there wasn't really any other option but to have candles and a fire. For the next three months, this would be home, this would be a place for me among nature and this would represent a new a new step in my career - If I find coal that is.
Great start Toby. It reminded me a little of the cottage I had in Scotland - the smoke and the occasional of electricity.
ReplyDeleteWhen writing in first person, consider using less of the "I" to describe action.
For example: In the distance I can see a waterfall crashing over cliffs.
Do we need "I can see" in this sentence? As the piece is written from your perspective, we know it's you seeing everything you're describing. Could you consider:
In the distance, a waterfall crashes over the cliffs.
Remember this for future writing.