Mr. Smooth they call him; he's tall, a unit in the gym, a ladies man - Kyle is perfect. From his chiselled jaw line to his meticulously carved facial hair on the side of his face like its a permanent feature that never grows, Kyle is to be envied. Me on the other hand defines his polar opposite; if parallel universes existed and he made a mistake in the other one - I'd be him. I glance away from Mr. Smooth as my eyes dart across the office cubicles attempting to be distracted. I hop down from my chair and pull my pants up and re-tightened my belt across a waist line I wouldn't say I'm proud of. I trundle along through the office, making eye contact with people and occasionally a nod before coming to the end of the hall. Before me stood a large frosted glass window and a door. A door to my bosses office, a door to my promotion, a door to escape the mediocre grinds of 'cubicle workers'. But I am too late, sure enough Kyle's tall handsome figure could be made out through the frosted glass, animated with excitement and laughter. I hang my head in disappointment and start to walk away, what place does a fifty-seven year old man with seckel syndrome primordial dwarfism have in an office anyway?
Kyle - Perfect, arrogant, handsome
Dwarf - Depressed, jealous, contrasted to Kyle
Concept explored: Discrimination in the workplace.
Character information found here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primordial_dwarfism#Types_of_primordial_dwarfism
http://www.losangelesemploymentlawyerblog.com/2008/02/little_people_discrimination_i.html
Starting small is definitely working for you. Your writing is already much richer. Agin, some fret use of sentence structure and imagery. Take care with tense - go back and adjust if you can find the errors.
ReplyDeleteI'd be interested to see you write in third person next...
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