Monday, 22 October 2012
Setting A Scene (A Place to Belong Pt.II)
It was morning; a gunshot fired skyward as yells, screams and cries broke out across the camp. Life here was impossible, as in people ceased to exist. The smell of death gripped the air in a tenacious manner, making even the guards uncomfortable. With no solid floor to sleep on, I drag myself to a sitting position as little bugs and dead grass blades rain off my shirt down to the ground consecrated in bereavement. A guard juts the barrel of his gun into my back - I freeze with fear, but by some miracle my legs autonomously bring me to a standing position. The guard pushes me forward through the camp, through the stench of genocide and through my friends, my family and my people. I had come to 'umkommen' or in english; to die, to perish and to become extinct. There it was, looming twenty or thirty meters ahead of me. The blood stained iron door of the 'showers' - If only I were to be so naive.
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Another interesting approach, although much darker. Your use of sentence structure is very effective in places and you use some powerful imagery. Take care with spelling - remember we use Australian English spellings (as UK English) not American.
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